maybe thing were suppose to be this way, and maybe it shall remain this way.
i guess, sometimes i am quite indecisive. most of the time i guess. well, how should i put it, that the first 3 months are over and that i am waiting for the last 2 months. pretty challenging i should say. heh.
the current time is 4.12am and i am not asleep knowing the fact that i have work in less than 2 hours. Sadli is chatting with me right now.
honesty and lies, these 2 don't really go well don't they? heh. maybe i was being brought up at the fact that no matter how ugly the outcome is, it's best to tell the truth and not keeping it for too long. so just a few hours ago, i got to know a truth that i don't know, apparently hurt me that much?
maybe it's cause of the trust and believe that i have put in someone and the things i have done that made me so infuriated. but then again, what was i thinking back then?
maybe all these while i've underestimated that someone and well, make it seem that everything that somebody has done for me, is never sufficient enough. heh. it's me i guess? maybe for me, once you say someth, you do it?
but humans don't always work the way everybody works right.
but i don't know, after that conversation, i realize a lot of things that i can't wait to tell Baby once he is out. so many things i've learned that oh wells, i guess everyth in his letter that he said about me was true. but another thought came ti mind. it is what a friend said to me that maybe, i should really start from now. i mean, it applies to certain people only.
"i think it's time where you really shouldn't care anymore and start to let things be. save those that matter and are worth your time." at first to be honest, i don't get whathe meant by that and saying that. finally i understood. i guess it's really time where it shouldn't matter to me anymore and that things should go their own way. be it whether it creates a big impact or not. i mean the other party is in love, so why stop and come in the way? i guess i shall take Stephan's advice. it really shouldn't matter anymore.
i guess that one person who will honestly tell me he loves me will still be him. i need to sit down and think about everything one more time. i mean i guess the trust i had was all wasted i guess. i don't really know. i'm just fuming.
