Second Sight

11:40 PM

Blogged by (NurKhalidahZainal)

i'm promoted, i'm promoted. WeeHeeHeeeeeee! Nothing can stop me from studying now[: i'm happy happy happy.
okay okay. currently watching "Gone with the wind"(nak mampos aku di buatnyeeee) oh oh. i miss Aisyahtakoyaki! i miss aisyah aisyah aisyah. i've already " lepaskan rindu to Syafwoochy and Syukoochy. Love the both of you truckloads.
i must say i have indeed been missing in action, but nevertheless, i'm not dead yet. lmao.

okay okay. let me say this again, I'M TAKING MY O's NEXT YEAR! isn't that dreadful as first and foremost, i have to work double double double hard in order to get good grades. Pfft! what a flea! being in express stream is indeed an utmost incredible challenge. it is indeed a challenge for people like me. HAHAH! O's?! will you ever think of it! O's liao la! and guess what, i'm gonna miss aisyah a lot la ! i'm going to cry man! if i have too i will cry. why aisyah, why?

okay okay. so, O's and then A's. great kan? why A's? well unfortunately, i'm not one smart aleck like me brother who you know, affordable to JC. moreover, i am more of a relax person. so, i will follow his footsteps and that is, aim for Millenia Institute. second is Polytechnic, and so on and so forth. okay, i'm going to create a new post to reply my fellow taggers my replies. ESPECIALLY ARFAH!

Thursday, September 24, 2009
8:08 PM

Blogged by (NurKhalidahZainal)

FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.

it seems like every of your ex girlfriends are the ones who are bastards. i am uttermostly surprised. indeed i am.

i have indeed deliberately lose my patience. i have silently tolerate everything.

i am gonna make you suffer. i will kill you. if i can't, i know God will help me.
for what you did to me now, is what you and your family will get.
i swear in Allah, that i will never forgive you until the day you die. i will make it happen and i will say it in my daily prayers.
i really had enough jokes and tolerated everything you said.

i'm a bastard? yes i am. and i'm saying this to you. this bastard gave up everything on you, and doesn't even care of the risk. i may have cheated you, but i have not yet ashamed you like how you did to me in front of unknown people eyes. don't dare me.

with the name and blood of my father, and the courage of my life and the guidance of Allah, i will make you suffer.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009
9:23 PM

Blogged by (NurKhalidahZainal)

i start off my day but having a wide grin on my face. eventually, someone i've been wanting to see again even for just a split second just popped out in front of me and eventually, it did. i could never open up my mouth to call him out, but i know somewhere, somehow, i was screaming his name and yearning to just get close to him.

GOODNESS GRACIOUS! no one would believe who i saw this morning that made my day, and well, made me thought that everyone SHOULD deserve a second chance. my day started out blissfully, and i really want every single day to begin like that.

and as usual, i'll be taking the train to school. yet i don't know why, despite of my laziness and tardiness, everytime i look around me, or just turned anywhere, it doesn't even matter if i'm facing a nyonya or apek or mat or minah or ahlian or ahbeng or whoever la, i'll smile. well, that doesn't sounds like me. maybe, i've been wanting a cheerful start since the past few months. but really, to my amazement, people just smile back! i love it. either people smile, or just started talking to me or just nudge me. so, as of today, i was in a little bit unhappiness. i got the later bus, the train was delayed and so on and so forth. i alighted from the train and looked around to see if any Shuqunites is late as i am, and yes, there were.

so i kept on walking, and walked down a flight of stairs when, !!!!!! let me describe what happen to me okay.
my eyes turn wide, my heart kept on beating faster for a few seconds, i wanted to say something with my full courage, but yet, i shout this person's name in my heart so loudly that i thought i was mad. all the days and nights of prayers, and after having so many months we lost contact, i bumped into him again. surprisingly though, i thought that my heart was gonna stopped for a moment and i'm gonna tremble, but no. instead, it beats faster.

Muhammad _ _ _ _ _ T_ _ ! yes the person who actually encourage me and gave me support on the night, dated, 15 January 2009. until this moment, i never even perished that scene from my memory. and yet today is the 15 of September 2009.
yes, it has been 8months. 8 months of unforgettable memory that is being locked and kept so tightly and i've been hoping that one more time i would again bumped into you even if it is just for a split second. i regretted not being in contact for the past few months, but i am grateful to Allah, that after days and nights of prayers, Ramadhan is really a great and special month and that it really cherish my heart. Thank you Allah.

but there is something in him that was imperfect that my friends kept asking, "What if people were to stare at you because of his unformed advantage?" and my answer was very simple to that question, " It doesn't matter who he is, or how he is. it's a matter if you can change him and don't let him even spare a thought of his advantage. cherish him, that is all."

so the first thing i did, i texted Lazel, my dear. and i told her who i saw. well, she's quite happy that i'm not gonna be gloomy. or should i say, melancholic for the day.
and the next person i told, was Mdm Maiza. she understand how i felt. she was glad that i was pretty cheerful at the beginning of the day and that it was a good point that i never even thought of his advantage. and next, i told Yilin and Joanna. well, Yilin was happy for me, but rather she was in a bad mood with someone. so, i endure it.
Joanna understood my situation and she explained to me almost about everything that i thought and why i didn't reacted in some ways.

well, i should say Joanna is the first person to be paying full attention on me. i didn't know she could understand me so well when by right, i'm not the type that people will think i'm easy to go with as i hold too many secrets but i'm glad, i've made and effort to get close to Joanna, and listen to her theory about me. thank you, Joanna Reicherts[:

i should say i really thank Allah for letting me have that exciting feeling again. idk when and where it'll happen again in my life, but for now, i really thank Allah. moreover, it's Ramadhan. i felt that i'm grateful and thankful.

my heart beats faster and faster for that few seconds. i know i can never resist that temptation, but how may i describe it, i was indeed quite cautious about the environment around me. thinking and rewinding that scene in mind, it is so clear.
at first few months, i tried to run away. impossibility.
but i know this is going nowhere if i kept running. i begin to smile widely, again. and, yes i've been waiting for this life to revive again. The renaissance of Nur Khalidah[: