"some things are not worth the pain."

so how has it been? great, unbalanced, gloomy etc. but what do we expect, things happen unexpectedly, and it's all God's will. 

today's the 7th, yesterday was the 6th. officially 1 year & 10 months old of my relationship. could barely believe that it's happening. i'm delighted, contented, and this is positively through(despite the arguments that we sometimes might have encountered). but things have been quite okay and going on smoothly. & the aftermath, it's wonderful. 

but truth be told, there are things which i've recently known. which i didn't expect it to be.

a past that still matters though i can't fight for it now, but i will.

it's about Hairul & Syaza. y'know whenever they came back even a step in my life, it'll be in havoc, and i'll start to argue with boyf a lot. so, affirmative, this time, no more. 

exactly what happened was, i didn't quite actually believed what i heard in terms of first judgment. but then i thought, if i could go through it, why not her. So, eventually, i got to know about Syaza doing some heavy petting in the cinema with Hairul. i mean, my boyf couldnt believe it also, cos no offence, she look superbly decent.

and i even showed Hairul & Syaza photos to my ITE friends. amazingly, they were disgusted. thank you, i need supporters. LOL.

well, lesson learned. never trust a friend or even your boyf all e time. they'll lie. 

so, it's been a while since i actually update my blog. it's been weeks, i guess. how's life been? been good and at times, bad.
 well, it's 2012. pretty much not excited about it. but there are quite a few relevant events or things that i really wanna look forward too.
first & foremost, 6th April 2012. it's gonna be a precious 2 years that i'm gonna be with boyf. it is indeed one of the best gifts of God that has landed safely in my little world.
secondly. change. well, recently i've been pulled back down to earth because of a God's creation words. it was indeed a blow in some part of me. so here i am, with all the knights and shinning armor that are willing to help me, i will change.
third, bestf. i don't know whatever i wanna say right now is gonna be a huge deal. let's say i'm not at all elated watching you with izwan. let me say why, cos seriously, i'm disappointed with the first thing you did with him and the other upcoming things that happened and are going to happen. yes, thank you for helping me out. but seriously, the reason why i stopped you from getting with him is because i don't wanna watch you suffer. but to be honest, i don't really wanna care much. what kind of a guy is he that i can't meet my bestf?! i mean, my boyf lets me hang out with you and even other friends cos he knows we are just together and that he has no right to control me. all he needs is to understand me as many ways as possible. but this, about izwan?! i can't believe it. if he can't let me see you now, then don't let me see you forever, as long as you're still with him. sorry, but no sorry.

thank you for being there for me every single time.
but this is not what i'm asking for. if he prevails it, so be it his way.
i don't wanna come between you guys anymore. the end.


thank you for those who are willing to help and for the strong encouraging words.
God has never given much life until you guys came.
guide me, be my strength in every hurt, and my light in every darkness.


Boyf, i appreciate you for whatever have happened.
never mourn the past of the both of us. we will be together through every thick and thin.
thank you for accepting me for who and what i am and what i have done. 
i love you, sincerely. 

I thought this would lead me to nowhere, but guess somehow, someth is showing up. still i'm unsure what's going to happen.