Apparently the sun that shines the brightest in my life has always been you. It could never be replaced.
Well we're not gonna start on the 8 months anymore. Apparently i got to know he'll be released within 5 months. His date of release will be on 5th November, exactly 4 days before my birthday. Well that's something i'm looking forward too. Things has been a lil lot more stable. Though i still can't get over the fact that, i'm so much away from him. There are times where i would just read our conversation in my phone, and i could feel the pain in my chest. i can't actually decipher what's the reason behind all these, but i guess God is just trying to see how strong are both of us in this relationship. i know he has and will always be the one.
eventually this post ain't gonna be about me or even about my relationship. Since someone actually insisted that i type out something about him, well maybe i should give it a try. heh.
Well, let's begin.
i've recently got close to this guy friend of mine not until like a few months ago. hmmm, should i mention his name or should i not. OK. His name is Chan Yong Jun, age 23 and his birthday is on the 28th June. He's hoping that someone will give him a letter in his mailbox, seriously? why so old-fashioned.
well, i've almost known him for a year, i swear the first time i know him, i feel like strangling him to his death. so emo-shit!
well, let's proceed to a much more positive light shall we?
I should say Yj is an indeed a warm guy, but he just doesn't know a thing about his soul yet. well, that's because he has so much of negativity and will always start to get so emotional about a lot of things. well, i shall not state it here about what he cares so much about. anyways, what's actually nice about him, can i say everyth? he's nice to me, and to everyone. but yes, there are times where i will screw him up, throw my tantrums at him, be violent at him, cos i can't stand the way he's being too nice to anyone. and i want him to learn and know that. or should i say he should learn how to be more mature in certain areas, and maybe tone down a bit whenever someone says something.
there are times where i felt safe being with him, knowing that he keeps me awake of things that i should and shouldn't do. Like now, ever since my boyf is currently away from me. times like sending me home and keeping me safe, those moments where he just likes to be himself and talk just about everyth that's in him. but at times i can't stand it when he gets angry. pfft. those times where he'll wait for me after work, and me sulking at him for not treating me equally like buying me my chocolate and sushi. & the late night conversations with him just make me smile in those moments where i know there's a hole in me. despite everyth that we've been through, the arguments and teasing and almost everyth, i'm glad i've actually met this used to be soulless person, and changed him to at least feel a little warmth, in his everyday life.
in actual fact i know his feelings towards me, though many times, i friend zoned him, but never once has he pushed me aside and tell me he's never been there for me. though at times he really can't, he'll say sorry and make up for it. he is eventually gonna read this post. i have to admit that i do love you, but as a bestf and a brother. there are times i do teach you stupid things in life, which apparently you should not do, but oh well, where's the fun when you've found someone like me?
to be honest, i think anyone is lucky enough to get close to him or even fall in love with him now. there's a warmness in him which you might not be able to see, but you probably would wanna feel it instead with your heart. there are times when he say things without using his brain, but you've gotta tease him back. whenever he throws his tantrum, leave him alone or best still fight back, cos in the end, he'll lose. be violent with him, and he'll surrender himself by saying, "Ya that hurts ya." tease him, and he'll sulk. have a casual talk with him, and he'll wonder what kind of person you are. cry in front of him, he'll start to wipe your tears. fall in love with him, and he'll love you more than anyone could ever love you. and when he starts falling for you, he won't stop peeping at your lips, and would want to twirl your hair in between his fingers or best still, hear your voice and gaze into your eyes at every moment.
so, to wrap everything up, though you may realize you're nothing, he'll make you realize what perfection is and you don't need to be in a state of impressionism with him. all you need is expressionism. though he knows what my heart felt, he knows and i knows what i would choose for myself.
i should say i'm grateful to have him in my life, being there despite everyth. i have and always been hurting him, but he knows best why i've been doing it. for he knows everyth that we've been through.
to end off, i wanna say, i'm officially missing my boyf.
