GOODNESS GRACIOUS! no one would believe who i saw this morning that made my day, and well, made me thought that everyone SHOULD deserve a second chance. my day started out blissfully, and i really want every single day to begin like that.
and as usual, i'll be taking the train to school. yet i don't know why, despite of my laziness and tardiness, everytime i look around me, or just turned anywhere, it doesn't even matter if i'm facing a nyonya or apek or mat or minah or ahlian or ahbeng or whoever la, i'll smile. well, that doesn't sounds like me. maybe, i've been wanting a cheerful start since the past few months. but really, to my amazement, people just smile back! i love it. either people smile, or just started talking to me or just nudge me. so, as of today, i was in a little bit unhappiness. i got the later bus, the train was delayed and so on and so forth. i alighted from the train and looked around to see if any Shuqunites is late as i am, and yes, there were.
so i kept on walking, and walked down a flight of stairs when, !!!!!! let me describe what happen to me okay.
my eyes turn wide, my heart kept on beating faster for a few seconds, i wanted to say something with my full courage, but yet, i shout this person's name in my heart so loudly that i thought i was mad. all the days and nights of prayers, and after having so many months we lost contact, i bumped into him again. surprisingly though, i thought that my heart was gonna stopped for a moment and i'm gonna tremble, but no. instead, it beats faster.
Muhammad _ _ _ _ _ T_ _ ! yes the person who actually encourage me and gave me support on the night, dated, 15 January 2009. until this moment, i never even perished that scene from my memory. and yet today is the 15 of September 2009.
yes, it has been 8months. 8 months of unforgettable memory that is being locked and kept so tightly and i've been hoping that one more time i would again bumped into you even if it is just for a split second. i regretted not being in contact for the past few months, but i am grateful to Allah, that after days and nights of prayers, Ramadhan is really a great and special month and that it really cherish my heart. Thank you Allah.
but there is something in him that was imperfect that my friends kept asking, "What if people were to stare at you because of his unformed advantage?" and my answer was very simple to that question, " It doesn't matter who he is, or how he is. it's a matter if you can change him and don't let him even spare a thought of his advantage. cherish him, that is all."
so the first thing i did, i texted Lazel, my dear. and i told her who i saw. well, she's quite happy that i'm not gonna be gloomy. or should i say, melancholic for the day.
and the next person i told, was Mdm Maiza. she understand how i felt. she was glad that i was pretty cheerful at the beginning of the day and that it was a good point that i never even thought of his advantage. and next, i told Yilin and Joanna. well, Yilin was happy for me, but rather she was in a bad mood with someone. so, i endure it.
Joanna understood my situation and she explained to me almost about everything that i thought and why i didn't reacted in some ways.
well, i should say Joanna is the first person to be paying full attention on me. i didn't know she could understand me so well when by right, i'm not the type that people will think i'm easy to go with as i hold too many secrets but i'm glad, i've made and effort to get close to Joanna, and listen to her theory about me. thank you, Joanna Reicherts[:
i should say i really thank Allah for letting me have that exciting feeling again. idk when and where it'll happen again in my life, but for now, i really thank Allah. moreover, it's Ramadhan. i felt that i'm grateful and thankful.
my heart beats faster and faster for that few seconds. i know i can never resist that temptation, but how may i describe it, i was indeed quite cautious about the environment around me. thinking and rewinding that scene in mind, it is so clear.
at first few months, i tried to run away. impossibility.
but i know this is going nowhere if i kept running. i begin to smile widely, again. and, yes i've been waiting for this life to revive again. The renaissance of Nur Khalidah[:
