don't try to juxtapose me with a pure malay. i know i don't want to be in that category.
i want everything to be a new, everything at a second sight.
well, how long has it been then? according to my previous post, it has been approximately a month that i've not been back.
wow! that is so not me in the past, but it's so me in the current present. LOL!
well, it seems to me that everything changes. from that very silent and gloomy girl after the break up, to a more interesting, enjoyable, curious and etc. girl who now believes that once again she's looking at a positive sight by adding an abundance of vibrant hues back in her life.
that Nur Khalidah Zainal who was also known to be didie, will always be having that label. but her attitude and thinking will be gone. let me say, it is all a history. she dares to do more, dares to challenge and better still, starting to be religious, AGAIN. lol. i have made my decision and told my parents and indeed promise myself that, i will never turn to back to be a TOO MALAY girl. the vulgarities that seems to stuck too much on every word i say, is beginning to lessen, and let me guess, i find speaking in malay a bit, err, kekok?
i lost too much, but gaining it everything slowly with the help of God, friends and families. i hope my days in school will bring me closer to my friends and forget everything of the past. i'm beginning to understand everything and spare a thought before making a decision. therefore, i'm no longer that girl who is just daring on the outside, but just going to shatter on the inside.
the tummy problem has resolve and i'm beginning to take pictures again. i have new close ones and i believe i really love them. Aisha[neopet]. Humairah[Maria].
therefore, summarising this post before starting a new one, i shall say,
i dare and will challenge my history if it ever comes back.
i will try and do my best in whatever that is coming.
i must and will save every friendship i have now, and including the ones i lost.
i will only start to love until i really think i've loved my parents and my friends much.
i strike out "gloomy and melancholic" in my dictionary and add it with vibrant hues.
