thanks for accepting my decision bby[:
i know how you feel, but definitely, now is not the time.
i have to prepare myself for Os next year, and you will be busy with NS.
for now, let me admire the Koreans. i know i won't miss you deliberately, but at times i will spare a very long thought about you. i want to be happy as a single person who is attached for 14years7months8days to her parents. i'll miss you. i'll try to open up my heart. for now i'm shutting it.
HELLO[: up there? that paragraph? Umi knows[: only she knows. it's about this guy[who i will not mention his name] , has been knowing me for a few months. so he's leaving for NS, and his friend thought i should not leave him lonely, but then he's okay with it after i told him that i needed time to understand and know him better. i don't want to create the same ugly mistake i did last time. so, jyeah. he's okay with it. btw, he's a chinese[: hahahah! Umi knows[:
the picture on The Last Samurai. This is totally because, i've been watching too much shows on real man, that, believe me. I cried watching that show. It's just that i find it so touching on how a real man should be.
- a real man is spiritual.
- a real man is strong, inner and outer.
- a real man fights on honour.
- a real man never gives up.
- a real man knows his pride.
- a real man is full of patience.
- a real man makes his decision.
- a real man respects every perspectives.
- a real man knows his women.
- a real man takes responsibility for what he has done[like making his ex girlfriend pregnant].
those are the main points of a real man. but i don't even see these man in this century. partly there are a minority of them. majority? lol. you can hardly find them. never trust a guy even if you know him for long. trust him when your heart fully cherishes it and feels at home.
to hafiz: i hate you. let me say, get out from my life sex maniac! don't be sorry.
'cause i'm not your girlf. and why on Earth would i have to treat you like my boyf?! get a life sucker!
to Busterrooo: we are not talking OBVIOUSLY. but let me tell you this. since your father hate you marrying a malay, 'cause malay are troublesome, good. 'cause i've broken up with you.
i hate cursing, and when i curse, i bring it into my solats. i shall say, " Ikot la mak tiri kau yg org kafir tu. pergila engkau kpd Nabi Isa. just because rumah kau ade patung org kafir, dan kau dah kenek duduk sebumbung, tk bererti kau kalah. Masya'Allah. sememangnye slame ni Allah swt mmg inginkn aku pulang dan mengikut umat Rasullulah. kini kau meninggalkn tanggungjawab engkau sbgai org Islam, maka Allah mndkatkn kau dgn Iblis. kau sdah lupe asal mu. kau adalah anak Adam. kami org islam adelah anak-anak Adam dan Hawa. tpi smmgnye kau inginkn jlan yg menyesatkat umat mu tersndrie. pergila kau. sumpahan di hati dan dalam doa lebih berat dan padahnye. tapi, Hairul, kau membuat aku melakukannya. hidup ku sesat krane mu. kini aku akan mengikut umat ku. dan kau, boleh mengikut umat Nabis Isa[Jesus]. kau slawat hanya sementara. tapi, Iblis itu ttap ade pade dirimu. dengan nama Allah aku bersumpah bahawa aku adalah hanya seorang di dalam hidup ku yg tidak akan aku maafkan. walaupon ku lebih dan terlalu rendah dari Rasullulah, tapi sumpahan adelah sumpahan. sumpahan ini akan ku bawa ke solat aku dan hingga kau mati, aku tidak akan maafkan kau. Umat aku yg lain aku akan maafkn. ttap kau adelah antara manusia, sebangsa yg tidak akan aku maafkn. sehingga kau hendak dikpankan, mayat mu tidak akan tenang, kerane, aku tidak akan maafkn kau. atas nama Allah dan Rasullulah aku bersumpah. AMIN."
i will bring that curse to my prayers. for i shall not forgive him for what he is responsible for.
sumpahan ku akan membuat dirimu menderita setiap hari, mulai rakaat pertama aku mengangkat tangan ku dan menyebutkan, "Allahu Akhbar."
tidak ada apa2 yang akan membuat kau senang dan tenang hingga ke akhir hayat mu.
AMIN.
