akid . wahid .
dy maafkan bby please . ?
bby tawu bby slahr .
i was just too harsh on you .
forgive me will ya . ?
i don't wanna lose you also .
i've lost every hope and support i had .
and i'm clinging onto Ayu now .
but it's hard for me now .
my days and nights are getting more colder .
klao eu tknk maafkn i , and don't want t give a second chance , it's okay .
i accept that .
who am i t anyone's eyes and heart . ?
i felt like i don't know myself anymore .
aku maafkan kau k syq .
aku akn sntiaserh maafkn kao .
tpie , bleyh kerh engkao maafkn aku . ?
smuerh kputusan di tgn kao skrg akid .
i wanna go on with e love , but if eu dun wan .
then , no comments can be made .
i respect ur decision .
tpie , akid , sblum kao uat paperh , dun ask me for my permission , think about it ferst .
think about me .
if eu always thot that you love me , think about it ferst .
think about what will i say if i get t know about it .
i miss you too .
i can't hear ur voice .
i can't see ur face .
i can't feel eu .
i can't hug eu .
i can't do anything .
but though , my heart beats slowly , it's still beating for you .
the decision is up t eu now .
i have no more say .
i have t accept every fact .
and t my parents , if i am no longer important t both of you .
tell me .
'cause i know , i've shame the family .
i know .
i know you won't give me a second chance .
if you ever want me t step out of the house , tell me and pin it down straight .
but please , don't make me see the hatred eyes that you use t look at me .
even though at times , i do hate you .
but i never deny the fact that you are my bio parents .
i never deny that fact .
but , if i can't know what the whole family discussion is about .
i can't know where are your whereabouts .
i can't talk in your happy conver , tell me straight away .
i am ready t be left out all the time .
i know i've alr lose your support and love .
i know i'm beginning t weaken , but i have t accept the fact .
sorry t parents .
sorry t wahid .
i never ask for more .
but please , don't because of me .
there's a feeling of hatred .
there's a feeling of doing something wrong .
there's a feeling of sadness .
please don't .
cherish my last moments .
but don't make my tears flow .
cherish and lit the candle of my last moments .
don't make me take my life by force .
i don't wanna do that .
i only want a smile on my face .
a smile that i've been longing for .
but i know , it was never meant t be .
i have no rights t smile in my heart .
and ive begin t cry inside out .
who am i . ?
who is Nur Khalidah Bte Zainal . ?
who is she . ?
what is she . ?
where is she . ?
what is in her . ?
idk the ans .
it's only a matter of time till it all ends .
it only have t take t just count the seconds , hours , minutes , days , weeks , years .
if only i could .
every second , every minute , every hour , every day , must hear your voice .
but how can i make that possible . ?
if only i could .
but i can't .
i've just turn weaker , and no longer stronger .
i've lost that happiness .
lost everything .
