it's been quite a while since i actually update this part of the web.
a past that hits me badly, leave what i made my decisions now.
what has happened, will remain happened. and it's not written, and can be erased and be amend. but once it has been done in life, you can never turn back the time and be there to make things better. at certain times in life(mine), i looked back to whatever happened. indeed, i misused my freedom to get what i want. but i know i did that to gain whatever i've lost. remembrance upon a sudden death of people who fought for me and my rights, and now, i'm left with my own to fight this battle. 2 years back, how could i ever faced death at such a young age. i had to be strong enough to go thru that event and that moment really hit me badly, leaving me no choice, but be responsible about whatever i did(which everyone says i am responsible). there were a lot of times, without me knowing, i almost killed a life in me. but i didn't. i did gave birth to life. but how could i possibly face the fact that i had to give it away and let life face it's journey without me, his source of blood and tears. but i thank those who were by my side and didn't left me at the point where i really find it hard to decode that part of life.
it has stopped, and it will have to stopped forever. for the time has come and face other challenges.
what ever happened 17 years of life i had survived and live on, has got to stopped one day. and it did. from the drugs, to the alcohol, to everyth little thing that sheds blood. i'm 17, and when i do talk, people might just come up and say to me, "you're just 17, shut up and live thru life. don't world." true much. but hey, don't you just think people has different turning points in life. and that some mature faster than the rest. i'm 17, what makes you think i wasn't in your shoes before? i've made my parents cried for all the crimes i've made, and all the shits that happened. what's worth it more, was what happened to me 2 years ago has become a part of their life and will stick onto them till the day they die. how evil can i get? WAY EVIL. i don't know the meaning of true pain, i don't know the meaning of pity, i don't know the meaning of love, i don't know the meaning of such internal emotions. all i knew, was my world, mine, my own.
i still drink, i don't do drugs, i smoke. but everyth has limit right? well, that's when you know it's time you stand up and think straight.
literature of life and the phase. a new beginning. Othello.
ever read Othello by Shakespeare? i did. well, if you haven't, you should start reading it. :) after what alr happened, i did try becoming worst. and taste my own medicine. but why must i be that bad? things can change with you starting the change. i live life like there's no tomorrow. socializing, and of course spending times with people that cared. and they made a difference. no, i've not turned into that goody-two shoes. but, i'm making the best out of me. figuring everyth out. i'm always curious, and you'll get annoyed by me.
Thank youNatra Qistina, Woochy Syaff, Nur Humairah, Husna, Umi Ammirah and the recent addition, Atikah for the smiles and hugs. we've been thru a lot of shits with love, life and every little things. for we're stronger and gone thru a lot. and we'll be stronger. :)
